Many people have the mindset that sex over 40 isn’t exciting, and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Studies have proven time and again that most couples over 40 have greater sex lives than they did in their younger years. Why? For one thing, we’re older and wiser and we have years of experience on our side. Secondly, we’re not afraid to speak up and ask for what we want in bed.
Listed below are just a few of the many reasons why intimacy gets better with age, so forget the silly notion that sex is all downhill once you hit the big 4-0, and start looking forward to the prime of your life!
After 40…we are comfortable with our bodies.
Since most women get married and have children in their early 20’s to mid-30’s, we spend most of those years enduring the wonder (and yes, pain) that comes from pregnancy, childbirth, and nursing. We discover what our bodies are capable of, and we become more appreciative of these qualities the older we get. Many people spend their younger years constantly stressing over having the perfect body and comparing themselves with others, but there’s a freedom that comes with age, as we start worrying less over cellulite and what others think, and instead, we take pride in our strength and we’re comfortable in our own skin. Older women are less self-conscious and more confident with their sexuality and most men find that confidence incredibly sexy.
After 40…we know what we want.
During our young adulthood, we spend a lot of time trying to figure out what will get us from Point A (arousal) to Point B (orgasm). By the time our 40’s and 50’s roll around, we know what works and what doesn’t, and we’re not afraid to ask for it either. We’re older and wiser. You could even say we’ve “been there and done that”. At this stage of our lives, we are focused on achieving satisfaction, and that means not being bashful when it comes to voicing our needs.
After 40…we can separate sex and love.
As crass as it might sound, as we grow older, we begin to understand that sometimes sex is just that – SEX. And you know what? That’s perfectly okay! We spend so much time during our 20’s and 30’s analyzing every little detail of our sex lives. We stress over not having sex as often as we think we should or whether we spent the appropriate amount of time cuddling. These worries become far less daunting the older we get. Yes, making love is a beautiful thing, but sometimes we just want the thrill and excitement sex provides without strings attached. This is true for over 40 singles too.
After 40…we have fewer “life interruptions”.
If you have children, then you probably remember what it was like to sneak around with your spouse or partner to have some time alone when your kids were young. When our children are little, we spend so much time tending to their needs that our physical needs are thrown by the wayside. For couples over 40 who are enjoying an empty nest, there are less interruptions to deal with, and that means more time for intimacy.
After 40…we have no inhibitions.
Since most women are beyond childbearing years once they reach their early 50’s, this allows us to become less inhibited. When the risk and fear of pregnancy has decreased, there’s an increase in the desire to try new and different things. For singles, dating after 40 and over 40 dating sites become less intimidating and more interesting. We find ourselves more open and receptive to sexual fantasies that once seemed taboo, and if we’ve been in a committed relationship a long time, then we can delve in these fantasies without stressing over trust issues. When it comes to sex, younger generations tend to rush to the finish line, but as we grow older we understand the importance of taking our time and enjoying the journey. Longer foreplay sessions add another bonus for older couples too – more intense orgasms!
After 40…we have more options.
Unfortunately, there are some not-so-fun things that older couples and over 40 singles often contend with, but we have so many options available to us now to help with those problems. Fluctuating hormones can cause vaginal dryness and trouble maintaining an erection, but with Viagra and new lubricants on the market today, we can deal with these little hiccups and have fun in the process. An aging body doesn’t mean an active sex life is over by any means. Sometimes it takes a little more imagination to get the engines running, but oh what fun it is once those motors start purring!
After 40…we have more financial freedom.
In our 20’s and 30’s, many of us spend our days climbing the corporate ladder and saving every nickel and dime for mortgage payments, our children’s schooling, and other life necessities that come with having a home and family. When our children are grown and on their own, we can finally enjoy the fruits of our labor. Many couples over 40 and singles dating after 40 have achieved their career goals, and so they’re able to enjoy a little frivolous fun, whether it’s a weekend get away or something a little more extravagant, like a week-long ocean cruise. These breaks from everyday life and changes in scenery can lead the way to some amazing sexual adventures.
After 40…we place more value on intimacy.
If you’ve been on this earth a long time, then chances are you’ve experienced tragedy and/or loss in some shape or form. A great loss, like the death of a loved one, reminds us how precious life is, which creates a stronger and richer bond in our relationships, especially our intimate relationships. When you’ve lived long enough to understand how fleeting life can be, you value every touch and every kiss on a deeper level, and that closer intimacy can open the door to a more powerful and satisfying sex life.