It’s no surprise that women of a certain age have been there and done, but that doesn’t mean we have to wear the t-shirt with it emblazoned across the front. The ‘less is more’ adage applies perfectly when it comes to 40 plus dating online.
We’ve all been through break ups – some of them messy and painful – and anyone who is dating over 40 will have met their fair share of fools, but putting that in your dating profile is not going to sit well with a prospective partner.
By the same token, people (both men and women) need to feel needed, so proudly stating that you are perfectly happy with your single status is going to make a man who is looking for love feel that maybe you don’t actually need a man in your life at all.
It’s a thin line, and one that many mature people cross in the name of honesty, but the time to bare your soul comes once you are in a relationship, not before you have even met.
Filling out dating profiles can be tedious, especially if this isn’t your first time and you are thinking ‘here we go again’, but taking the time to put some thought into what you’re saying will pay dividends in the end.
Liars and Cheats Need Not Apply
Putting this in your profile screams ‘issues’, and is almost guaranteed to make a man keep on scrolling. We all have trust issues, but if we go into each new relationship with liars and cheats at the forefront of our minds, it’s going to be a disaster. Of course we don’t want to be with someone who is untrustworthy; if and when he proves himself to be so then walk away with your head held high.
Same Old, Same Old
Unless you are very new to over 40 dating sites, you will no doubt have seen scores of profiles which look identical. They all (apparently) go to the gym 5 nights a week, they all like extreme sports, and they are all ‘equally at home on a night out at a fancy restaurant ora night in with a good film and a nice bottle of wine’ (seriously, who would want to watch a bad film with a horrible bottle of wine?) Yaaaawn. Ok, so it might well be true (although I have yet to see a queue outside any local gyms) but it’s a little dull. The same goes for women’s profiles – be different, be unique. Don’t state that you like watching movies, reading a good thriller, and cooking up a storm. Find something out of the ordinary to say about yourself. 50 is the new 30 now, and most people want more than a night in front of the tv. Make anyone reading your profile want to find out more about you.
Glass Half Empty or Half Full?
Nobody, and I mean nobody likes a pessimist, and before anyone quotes the ‘misery loves company’ line, don’t you believe it! Misery only loves company when that companion is willing to listen to the moaning, but even the most bitter of people will not put up with someone else complaining for long. If your profile is full of the woes of life, you’ll have another complaint to add to your list – that of nobody asking you out on a date! Be vibrant, be alive. Be someone who makes other people feel good about life.
Honesty is the Best Policy
It’s already been said that you need to hold a few things back when writing a dating profile, but that’s not being dishonest – it’s being selective. When it comes to dating after 40, marketing yourself is like marketing anything else – play on the good points but never make false claims. Take photos, for example – it’s no good using a photograph of yourself when you were 20 with jet black hair when you are now 50 with streaks of gray. It’s not fair on your prospective date and it’s not fair on you, because he will be unable to hide his disappointment at not getting the younger version of you and it will make you feel awful! If you have gray hair, flaunt it but flaunt it well. Instead of saying ‘I’m going gray’ say ‘my hair is black with fabulous streaks of glitter’! Don’t claim to be rich (even if you are, because then you’ll attract the gold diggers), or that you like bungee jumping unless you do, because he might just surprise you with a bungee jump for two for your next birthday!
Watch Your Language
Dating lingo is a whole new language which you need to learn before you delve into the world of online love. Many 40 plus women who don’t know the terminology have been surprised (and usually disgusted) to receive requests for one night hook-ups when nothing could be further from their minds. Phrases which are completely innocent in real life take on a whole new meaning when typed from behind a screen. According to cyber dating veterans:
- Fun-loving = is up for anything, looking for one night stands, threesomes, and drinking games.
- Bubbly = in this age of shallow thinking a woman who describes herself as bubbly is really saying she’s plus size, because apparently larger ladies over compensate by being the life and soul of the party. Who knew?
- Curvy = another word for plus-size.
- Independent = radical feminist.
- Genuine = anything but.
Quite how these meanings came to be is anybody’s guess. When using these phrases, women are genuinely (see, you look at that word differently now, don’t you?) trying to say that they like to have fun, such as going to a comedy club, or making snowmen. An independent woman will pride herself on the fact that she has made it this far, and can stand on her own two feet. When compiling your profile, it pays to use your own terminology, and say exactly what you mean instead of using hackneyed phrases that have been done to death.
Dating profiles are a minefield, but if approached with an open mind, and the same enthusiasm you used to have for a night out ‘on the pull’ with the girls, it can be at worst a lot of fun, and at best maybe, just maybe, find you the man of your dreams.