Dating is a game that is never easy, but dating after 40 always looks much harder. In reality, it doesn’t have to be so, you just have to realize that the rules of the game are different from where you left it. For women, it can seem especially scary – you are programmed to believe that you are too old, not attractive enough and that you can take only what you can get. However, we will present you several pieces of advice that will help you catch the man you want and deserve to be with.
Define what you want
Some women are not sure what they want, particularly if they just came out of a long and painful relationship. Some women just want casual sex or a rebound guy to make them feel special again, others want a serious and real relationship, or marriage. Analyze yourself and try to figure out what it is that you want in that moment. Be sure that that’s something that you want, and not what others think you should do. Mature women should know what their deal breakers are and stick to them. If you have kids, talk to them first and listen to what they think. If you exclude them, you are risking a confrontation later on.
Many women believe that when they hit 40, they are past their prime and that they are no longer desirable. Unfortunately, that kind of thinking shows and makes you look desperate, but most over 40 singles go through that phase. So, how to deal with that? First of all – stop reminding yourself how old you are. Keep in mind how smart, funny and charming you are. Ask your friends to tell you 3 of your best qualities and see what comes up most often – that’s your weapon. Believe it or not, attractiveness has everything to do with self-confidence. The way you walk, talk, or enter the room gives people the first impression of who you are and what they might expect from you.
Stay true to yourself
Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Know who you are and what you want. That means – you are an attractive, confident woman over 40 – own it! Doesn’t dress or act like a teenager, because the media are telling you it’s sexy. In that manner, you can only attract weirdoes, which is something that nobody wants.
Take care of yourself.
You have to understand that unless you feel good about yourself, you won’t attract anyone. Naturally, you must exercise and eat healthy, but that’s not all. You must try to dress nicely, have your hair and nails done at every time. That doesn’t mean that you should wear a ball gown when going to a supermarket but don’t go out in wrinkled clothes or with messy hair. Dress appropriately and find out what works for you. You never know when you’re going to meet someone. If you are a “plain Jane” consider a makeover.
Put yourself out there
That means a lot of things but mostly – be prepared for dating. Let go of your past and deal with all problems that you have. Middle-aged dating is hard because no one gets to that age unhurt. But remember that you are not the only one. So be honest about how you feel, if you are afraid or scared be aware that the other side is scared as well. Don’t hesitate to express how you feel and be honest. Communicate openly what you need and you’ll get the honest response in return. That’s how you maximize the possibility of finding someone who’s going to be a right fit for you.
Ask friends for help
It is hard for over 40 singles to meet each other spontaneously – there aren’t that many bars or clubs that have that kind of clientele. So it’s only natural to ask friends to set you up with someone they know. First of all, they probably know what you like and what kind of men might be interesting to you, and secondly – often people who are close to us, know what we need better than we know ourselves. If you hate blind dates, ask your friend to ask you both for a dinner. In that way, you can meet that guy in a more relaxed atmosphere.
Join some activity or find a new hobby
This might sound like a dating cliché, but it is one of the best ways to meet over 40 singles. First of all, find an activity that you like and would like to know more of. Also, try to look for something what men like as well, like hiking, fishing, cooking, or activities where you’ll have to meet and communicate with someone, like dancing classes. If you are religious, go to church, or start volunteering in some organization. Whatever you choose, it has to be a group activity, and something that will show your potential partner that you are open, fun to be with, adventurous and interested in the same things as he is.
Serious dating after 40 must take online dating into account. The stigma related to meeting people in this manner has now vanished. But women are mistaken when they think that they can find someone only through dating sites. You should make a profile on those sites, make no mistake about it, but don’t limit yourself to them, and don’t post only on middle-aged dating websites. A proactive approach can also be very useful. Use social media profiles, such as Facebook, to meet new people. Browse through their profiles, choose a similar interest, add a new friend, comment on someone’s photo, even poke people you like. Someone will definitely answer. If you have kids, ask them for help. They know more about these things than you ever will, and in this manner, you’ll get their support and approval even before anything happens.
Hire a matchmaking service
If everything else fails, you can always look for professional assistance. When people are sick, they go to see a doctor, if they have legal troubles, they talk to the lawyers, so why would this be any different? These services have special algorithms and qualified and pleasant staff that will help you find your match.
Consider the guys you already know
We often overlook people that we know, like colleagues, friends or neighbors. Women, especially 40 plus ones believe that if something should have happened with them, it would have already. But don’t be so strict. Try to imagine going out with those single guys. How it would be like, do you have something in common? Ask them out, even if it doesn’t work out, you’ll be able to practice dating.